So I broke down a little bit today. I was just talking to a really good friend and we just got to talking about how things are going here... we were just texting but I was crying. Im so lost here! "i need live life to the fullest" he told me. but thats easier said then done... how am I supossed to do that here... its not like West Palm, where I can just to to the beach and be in aw of magnitude of the ocean and the beauty of the sunset. Its not like Colorado, where everytime I look at the mountians I lose my breathe. they say "life isnt measured by the number of breathes you take but by the moments that take your breathe away" but I dont think there is anything here like that. I want to be inspired, I want to feel passion, I want something to live for, I want more then im experiencing... there's nothing exciting here! This friend has been through a rough year and I dont want that to happen to me before I actually start living...
On a better note, I did get to actually do something, I hung out with my roommate and her brother.. we talked and laughed! (i dont know how long its been sinced I laughed) it was nice to actually have someone to talk to! they gave me some advice on jobs and how to meet new people! It;s nice to know I actaully have someone to talk to every once in a while!
Oh yeah, Im reading "Dear John." Its really good so far, I can't stop reading it! Nicholas Sparks is an amazing writer. He just puts so much emotion into his writing... When I'm reading it, i really the love and hurt of the characters... I almost cried today while I was reading cause it was just so... ahhh... so emotional! i love it! Can't wait to see the movie!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thoughts the 1st edition
so.. the idea of a blog is a lot easier then actually having one and writing one!
This is my first weekend in Orlando... (well, technically the 3rd but the first one I had tons of people with me and the second I was in West Palm. so this is actually the real first one.) It's hard being at "home" alone on a friday night! My friends are at the fair having fun, my family was at a beach bonfire, which I'm sure included pizza and ice cream, and I've been home all day and night! I should have taken more classes. I need a job, desperatey! I miss my church! I miss my room and my cats and my mom's cooking!
I've been thinking a lot about relationships... What is needed to have a good relationship? Yeah, I'm dating my best friend but is that enough? If there isn't passion and romance can it still work? Yeah, I like him.. I like being around him.. but I'm in college.. What if there is something else out there and I can't find it or i miss out on it because I'm "in a relationship" OR if there is any doubts should you just end it? Should I give it another chance and then all the sudden I'm engaged and stuck in something I'm not completely positive about.. ugh I don't know. I just see all these romantic movies and it's not that I want a fairy-tale but i know there is more then the typical dating... I want that, I want to be completely swept away, you know?
Who am I? I need to know? I'm trying to find myself, but am I just totally missing the journey? If anyone even reads this and you actually know me... feel free to tell me what you think of me cause I seriously have no idea?
This is my first weekend in Orlando... (well, technically the 3rd but the first one I had tons of people with me and the second I was in West Palm. so this is actually the real first one.) It's hard being at "home" alone on a friday night! My friends are at the fair having fun, my family was at a beach bonfire, which I'm sure included pizza and ice cream, and I've been home all day and night! I should have taken more classes. I need a job, desperatey! I miss my church! I miss my room and my cats and my mom's cooking!
I've been thinking a lot about relationships... What is needed to have a good relationship? Yeah, I'm dating my best friend but is that enough? If there isn't passion and romance can it still work? Yeah, I like him.. I like being around him.. but I'm in college.. What if there is something else out there and I can't find it or i miss out on it because I'm "in a relationship" OR if there is any doubts should you just end it? Should I give it another chance and then all the sudden I'm engaged and stuck in something I'm not completely positive about.. ugh I don't know. I just see all these romantic movies and it's not that I want a fairy-tale but i know there is more then the typical dating... I want that, I want to be completely swept away, you know?
Who am I? I need to know? I'm trying to find myself, but am I just totally missing the journey? If anyone even reads this and you actually know me... feel free to tell me what you think of me cause I seriously have no idea?
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